Tashaan is Back!!!!!

But, I do have a good reason for my absence.

I'm well aware that it has been quite some time since my last entry. Almost three months!! And, now I'm back...and more to say than ever before!! About shopping, fashion trends, boys, some men, Tashaan, dating, girlfriends, the books that I've been reading and how incredibly difficult it has been to maintain my Tashaan.

Before I start writing about the fun stuff, a quick update on what's been happening in my life...and its a doozy! The last few months have been tough but with God's grace, the love of friends and family, and knowing that I am deserving of true love and happiness I have made it through.

Sadly, I am getting divorced. I won't go into details here out of respect of him and his family, but unfortunately we didn't love each other enough to make the marriage work or to truly address all of the issues. We tried for six years but there is not enough time in the world to make us fall in love or want to make the marriage work. And, while it is sad that we lost each other (for I still believe he is an incredible man who will make some woman very happy), I truly believe that I am in a happier place today then I ever was when I was married. And, I know with all my heart and soul that I will find a happy fairy tale ending with my special someone as well.

Divorce, especially in the Desi community, is not something to be taken lightly. For anyone contemplating separation or divorce, try to make your marriage work. No partner is ever perfect and no marriage is ever perfect. Everyone will face daily squabbles, disagreements or arguments. But, as long as there is mutual love, respect and the desire to want to be with your partner, your marriage is worth fighting for. (If you are in an abusive relationship, then there are no explanations, excuses or reasons for staying. You deserve better...get out now! My public service announcement for the day!!!)

Marriage is a step that many take when they are not emotionally, socially or financially ready, but do because of Desi societal and familial pressures, many take the plunge. Some figure out how to swim, others are just trying to stay afloat, and some like me drown! Divorce is something that two very mature minds have to discuss and make the decision together.

So, once the decision was made I felt so light. Like I had no care in the world. Because, as in the words of Carrie Bradshaw, "I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love." Its been difficult to keep my Tashaan. My friend, Raj, was right; a divorce only shows how your a bad person and made a relationship fail. I felt like Alice from Alice in Wonderland falling down the Rabbit hole. It was dark, there was no ending, completely out of control and out of touch with reality, nothing for me to grab onto and I had no idea what I was going to land into.

Fortunately, I had some amazing friends to catch me along the way and cushion my fall. It was easy to loose faith in myself, in God and in hope of finding love. Thanks to each of them, I was able to hold my head up high and follow my Tashaan to where I am today. While falling down the rabbit hole, I lost my confidence, and with the support of my friends and family and God's support, I was able to find and build a new sense of confidence, attitude and redefined style. I know what I want, I know what I deserve...i just gotta figure out how to get there now!

I want the happy Cinderella ending. A home, filled with love shared with my husband and a beautiful little child and a beautiful shoe closet. I want to be loved and respected for who I am and what I bring to someone's life. I want to love someone every day and every night. I want to be recognized as a woman who can be rational, emotional and sexual all at the same time. And, I want to be seen as a good, honest person, who has perfected a balance between a liberal worldview and Conservative family values. At the end of the day, I want to be happy with the one man that I love.

So stay tuned for this Tashaan girl's new adventures, thoughts and perspectives on life, Tashaan, fashion n style and dating. It should be interesting, hopefully with not too many broken hearts or poor fashion tastes!

Share your thoughts or email me at desigirlhouston@gmail.com.