Your Most Important Accessory to Your Favorite Dress

“You know it's a bad day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.” - author unknown

A gf of mine made a comment recently which inspired this post. Suchi muchi, I love this girl but her one innocent comment during some boob banter spoke the truth to so many women. She said something along the lines, "I spend hundreds on a dress but never go and buy the right bra." So true!!!! I’m not saying that my wardrobes are perfect, but one of my pet peeves is the ill fitting bra - that was me yesterday...I was so frustrated with my bra yesterday...couldn't get it to work with my one strap top and then hide the bra lines! I check the bra and boob situation in the mirror several times over!! Bra straps that show, wearing the wrong color, bra bridge sticks out, nipply under a sheer top or the back strap that shows on a low back dress.

It is sooooo very important to wear the right bra. Your bosom buddies will thank you for this little lesson. The right bra will not only be comfortable, but will give you that little umph in the cleavage, make you stand taller, make you look slimmer, offer better support and improve your shape. Plus, when wearing a stunning Marciano dress, no one wants to see bra straps, bra bridge, bra lines or a neon pink zebra print bra – a good bra fit will make your clothes look better!!

Here are what I think are a must in every Tashaan lingerie closet. They help me take my clothes to the next level….or shall I say to the next cup!

Beautiful You Breast Petals. They are great!!!! These are ideal for when you have something with a deep V or backless. They will prevent those awkward nipply moments with the AC turns on. Simply place over your nipples. They are easy to take off and come with a carrying case. Con: They do not offer any lift or umph.

Beautiful You Backless Strapless Bra. I’ve tried many backless, strapless bras and this is the best!! It has never fallen down – even after a night of dancing - and (with practice) gives great umph. Simply follow the directions on the box. I purchased mine at Target.

Very sexy VS bra – My favorite bra for everyday!! It’s Victoria Secret’s Very Sexy Bra…need I say more. Because they are so expensive, I usually purchase in simple colors so that I can wear them with white, beige or sheer fabrics.

Perfect Strap. Great for tops/dresses with a racerback or T-back design. It’s also very useful for adding extra umph or creating a better fitting bra - helps the straps and lifts the bra/cup.



Frilly, sexy little things. Not only do we feel a little sexy and naughty during the day, but they are great fun for your John Abraham (I wish) to take off at night....or go bra-less :D !! I think we all need a few of these to bring out our inner Bipasha.



BTW…if your wondering if you are wearing the right size, I generally get the ladies at Victoria Secret to help me find the right size when I feel uncomfortable in my bras. And, here’s a helpful article on how to find the right bra size: http://www.liv.com/right_bra.php

What are your favorite bras? Must have accessories? What does your man say about bras? Post on the blog or email me at desigirlhouston@gmail.com.

Ummm.....I'm Back Again!!!!

"Its going to be really hard; we're going to have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday." Noah, from The Notebook

Soooo...yet again...i was on a hiatus. But, I'M BACK!!!

Here's what I've been doing the past few months...ready...it's a doozy!

I finalized my divorce, learned to stay strong, developed an amazing new relationship with God and spirituality, started volunteering and really feeling like I'm making a difference in the world, met some amazing new girlfriends, found an apartment, furnished it, got out of debt, started dating, stopped dating, then started dating again, met a great guy, found a new job, found another new apartment, broke up with a guy, lost my faith and am now getting ready to move closer to the city, start my new job and have currently banished anything that has a penis from life.

I didn't check my blog for quite some time. So, naturally there were several emails and comments that I hadn't responded to; I will respond to your emails. Not so surprisingly, the one blog entry that keeps getting comments, questions and emails is the one on converting for love. Rather than answering all questions and concerns, let me fill you in a little closer to what has been filling my time (btw...if you can, click on one of the advertisements to the right now...help a single gal out....need new shoes =)

In addition to the job hunt, apartment hunt, get out of debt plan, volunteering, girlfriends, meditating, I met a guy. Even before dating. I met him through a girlfriend so felt a little confident that he might be normal. The first time I met him was a group event...I had my girlfriends eye him too. Then had some other friends ask around and get the dirt. Census: he's a nice guy, funny, friendly, down to earth, volunteers, doesn't drink...you'd like him. Give him a try. So, I did. Every time we hung out, we talked for hours about everything and yet nothing important. He was funny, fun and easy to be with. As time passed, my feelings grew, made sure he knew what my feelings and expectations were every step of the way. He said his feelings and expectations were the same. I was now invested. It wasn't perfect, but I was happy. And, if I had any concerns, I would talk to him and he would do his best to address my concerns or fears.

BTW, did I mention he was Muslim.

That's right....screeching halt! Hold all those horses!! Am I seriously doing this again? Have I lost my freaking mind? Clearly the answer to this is obvious - YES!! After being rejected by my husband for who I am, getting rejected by a Muslim man for who I am, am I really trying to build a relationship with another Muslim man? Again, the answer is obvious - YES! And yes, you are right....I'm a moron!

I saw the issues, concerns and fears about dating someone who is Muslim, but because I believed that things between us were easy, fun and compatible and because I had the desire to try to make things work, we would support each other and figure it out with the families. And, quite honestly, in my eyes, the other concerns weren't that relevant. I believed and still believe (amazingly throughout all this heart break) that when you care for someone and are trying to build a relationship, you have to be honest with yourself about what you're willing to compromise on and what you're not. In my case, at that point in time, there was nothing that I felt I was giving up or truely compromising. I was simply accepting this man for his amazing strengths and human faults.

Unfortunately, as is my history, my past, my luck, my kismet, my bad luck, my choice in men, my stupidity in believing in Bollywood endings...call it whatever you want...there was something else in store. After creating some precious memories, he told me with sadness, "we need to move on because my family wants a Muslim girl." Hmmmm. What do you say to that? I remember saying so many things: "Let's just try;" "please change your mind;" "how do you know they won't;" "we were happy though"...oh how my desperation and utter sadness/grief/fear of losing this man took over me. I begged him to change his mind. He was adament that he won't.

It took me a few days, but I finally accepted his decision.

I don't have closure, so I'm not going to add here what I want to say to him. But, I will tell you what I think about religion and love…since that is what so many of you have asked me about. So here is what I think:

1. If you know religion is an important part of who you are and to your family, then please don’t look at, date, consider or fool yourself about dating someone who is a different faith. You will only hurt yourself and the person that you care for. To stand by the person that you care for and support them in the face of wanting a relationship, religion and family requires a strong sense of who you are and strength to answer many questions. If you don’t think you can do it, then don’t go any further. STOP now while no one is hurt.

2. If religion is important to your family, but you can still see yourself with this person, then do the right thing, STAND UP FOR HER/HIM. It will not be an easy battle, it will be difficult for you, your partner, parents, family, siblings, grandparents and friends. It will be a long battle. Start slow. Tell you family this person is your friend and introduce them. Tell everyone that s/he makes you happy. Teach each other about the beliefs, customs and value that your families hold. Be open to learning; accept and embrace with dignity and true love. Involve your partner in your family events, customs, prayers and gatherings. Slowly introduce this person as the person you love. Address everyone’s fears. Show your families and your partners that there is a way to make this work.

3. As early as possible, as early as you can, begin to have the tough conversations with your girl/boyfriend about the role religion will have in your life. I would suggest by the second or third date (again, you should only be going on the second or third date if you have the courage to confront your family about your relationship choices). Beliefs or customs that are important to you, how your children will be raised, will there be a dominant religion in the home, customs that you wish to continue to follow and what both of you think about converting. This conversation is not about making demands, but moreso focused on what aspects of your religion and culture are important to you in your relationship, your concept of family and your future.

I once thought religion was the true definition of love. That there is nothing more pure, true or innocent as love, especially the love you learn through devotion and faith in God and through devotion and faith in the man you love. I’ve since learnt that love and religion are two very complicated factors in one person’s life. I’ve seen couples where it has worked out – Christian/Hindu; Christian/Muslim; Jewish/Christian; Sikh/Christian. It was not easy and it was a long road for my friends; but, it worked for the best. They are all happily married (who doesn't have disagreetments) with beautiful children, homes filled with love, and shared goals and values. There are reasons that these marriages work: open communication, love, understanding and acceptance, chemistry, a sense of “we” and partnership, and clear understanding of expectations for everything that is important to a person. The differences that were present didn’t matter to them because when the day is over, they are winding down with each other, their relationships are great, easy, fun & their values, beliefs and customs enmeshed on its own.

And, above all else, there was courage, desire and a want to make it work because they saw that this person was one of their answers to finding happiness.

Thoughts? Opinions? I know you have some. Post on the blog or email me at desigirlhouston@gmail.com.

Stay tuned for more of my dating woes and the lastest fashions for 2010!!

Love Aaj Kal - Is Love Really this Complicated?

That’s not quite the question that the film asks but that’s how I felt leaving the movie theatre. A spur of the moment plan (yup…I’m a dare devil...watching a Bollywood movie on a Tuesday night) made with a girlfriend started off with me getting lost on Highway 6 and ended up with me crying at the theatre. But, her cousins walked out laughing and exclaiming how cute the movie was. They are young, attractive, recently graduated from university and the eternal optimists when it comes to love. My girlfriend and I are desperately trying to hold on to the belief that a prince charming will sweep us off our feet and onto a beautiful white stallion…or a red mustang ;-)

Love Aaj Kal (LAK) starred Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone and Rishi Kapoor. It really was a cute love story. It showed how the power of love transcends generations. It portrayed that love always will be, continues to be and still is a powerful emotion that binds two people beyond logic and rationale. It can make a sane person insane and a irrational person completely rational. Times and relationship dynamics have changed, but the need for the emotional and bond is still quite alive. Actually, I feel more needed today than ever before.

The story follows two couples – Jai and Meera in modern day London and Veer and Harleen in Dilli of the 60s. I’m not going to talk much about the story lines because I would recommend the film for you to watch, but LAK did raise some interesting questions and thoughts in my mind.

In today’s age of facebook, booty calls, match.com, shaadi.com, youtube and the need to meet immediate gratification, is romance dead? Have we forgotten how to tell those close to us that we love them – how much they mean to us? Did we ever know how to do this? Do we always keep the very thoughts that want to come exploding out of our hearts, our minds and our souls a secret not only from ourselves, but from those the most dearest to us? If so, why? Have expectations become harmful to a relationship? Can you imagine what would happen if we just opened our mouths and uttered the simplest of words with love and honesty…I’m sorry! I love you! I miss you! I need you! I want it to be you! Rescue me and I’ll rescue you!

And, how is that in our parents generation despite the challenges, despite the personality differences, despite the BS, they were able to stay together and build a home and family? With all the conveniences of modern day society, how is that we are not able to do the same? How is that personality conflicts and personal desires become so significant to create a distance that the Grand Canyon would seem a speck of dust?

How is that we made love so very complicated?

I have no answers to any of these questions. I suppose for now, It just is what it is. I’ll keep holding on to the belief that someone who loves me will whisk me away. And, after watching LAK, I realized that I do want the old school love story…simple, caring, innocent, lasting. The modern day romance seems full of drama and difficulties.

I cried near the end of the film because it hit so close to home. Watching her move furniture around by herself, wipe the makeup off her face at the end of the day and try to maintain the belief that her love will come back to her when he realizes that their love is real and strong released the tears. Whether it was my marriage or the new guy, my feelings were genuine. I wanted to care for them like no other.

I have gotten several emails, calls and talks about the entry about converting for love. The responses have been quite interesting, ranging from support to being in awe for the honesty to what the hell were you thinking to the guy’s a jerk, and if he loves you then he will accept you as you are. Concerns about being on a rebound, am I not concerned about what people would say, this is not the right guy, that I’m dating too soon, that I got played and that I lost my mind.

So let’s clarify a few things. I wasn’t dating him I enjoyed his company and was interested in getting to know him better. Where that was going to go, I don’t know. I’ve been having an internal debate about when is the right time to date after a separation/divorce. I think it’s different with each person, but in my situation, it is right now. Unfortunately, our marriage had been over for years. We lived together, went out together, but we were miles apart. It was a very lonely marriage. I’ve done all the grieving, crying and sadness that I can do and need to do so that I can move on. I’m ready. I’m still not saying commitment or relationship. Rather, I’m saying that I’m ready to meet people, go out, have fun and enjoy. While I’m enjoying we’ll see what happens. I’m ready to find somebody who enjoys my company as much as I enjoy his. To be with someone who wants to live and love life as I do. To teach me and help me grow.

He wasn’t a rebound. A rebound is someone I would have used to mend my “broken heart”. And, I had done that the day I told that ex that it’s time to separate and move on. The minute I uttered those words, my heart felt relieved…literally like a massive boulder had been left from my chest; all the pain had gone. After having been with my ex for six years, its natural to think of him, but I don’t think of him daily, I have no ill feelings towards him or our relationship and I’ve grown since we separated. My feelings for the new man were genuine and no, he is not a jerk. But because I care for him, I am choosing to respect his feelings of wanting to be with someone of the same faith.

Yes, sometimes I do think that he played me, used me, had his fun and moved on. When I get stuck in those thoughts, I remind myself of how he treated me kindly. Besides, thinking of him in this way isn’t going to make things any easier for me. My heart just can not believe that he is a jerk or a player. I believe it was the situation, not him or me. And, if he did turn out to be a player…well, that doesn’t say much about my judge of character, now does it? I do wish he would have called me once just to see how I’m doing. Oh well. There is no point thinking of that now.

And, yes I do agree that in a healthy relationship there is love, acceptance, understanding and respect of my differences and strengths. But, when making the choice to marry and start a family, some logic is important. Understanding and agreeing what faith will be practiced in the home, language, expectations for clothing and food, what will the children be named…these are important details to discuss prior to marriage. Once those initial expectations are laid out, then we can allow the trust, respect, and love build on the marriage.

I think desi weddings are beautiful and fun, but we often get so wrapped up with the four days of parties and the details of the color scheme, the perfect entrance walk and the perfect wedding jora, that we forget to focus on the marriage. I’ve learnt that discussing day-to-day expectations with family, career, money and spending quality time is so much more important then having discussions of centerpieces.

I have learnt a lot about myself, relationships and compromise through my marriage, divorce and other life experiences. I still believe that for me as long as my world view, what I want for my future and for my children and general philosophies match, I would convert. Whether my children are named, Sukhdeep, James or Imran, I will still love them. Whether I’m wearing a salwaar kameez or jeans, I will still respect him and his parents as best as I can. Whether I’m saying it in Punjabi, Hindi, Urdu or French, my love for my partner will be strong and pure. And, whatever name I use in my prayers, I will still have faith in the One Supreme God to guide me between right and wrong. Why? Because I believe love, respect, trust, understanding, honesty and sense of humor are the pillars of a strong relationship.

It’s like Noah said from the Notebook: “It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday.”

A very wise, wise, friend said “someone may not show their love in the way you expect, nonetheless, it doesn't mean that their love for you is not unconditional or true.” That is what relationships are all about. Love is selfless, with no ego, true and simple. Marriage is complex, full of adjustment and compromise. But, a marriage with love and respect will remain strong and lasting.

So, I will enjoy what I have in my life today and wait for someone who can offer me what I’m looking for; who will make a place for me in their heart. Until then, its dinner, movies, dancing, Masti and virgin Pina Colada’s with some amazing ladies!!!

Tell me what your thoughts are about LAK. Comment here or email me at desigirlhouston@gmail.com

The New Sari

There have been quite a few posts, emails and calls about my last entry. I will respond to what everyone has said…I’m just mulling over all that has been said and that I’ve experienced in the last few days. I will post a response soon! And, your thoughts, opinions and well wishes are truly important to me! Thanks. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this!!!

Just like all Desi fashionistas, I love the look of the sari. It is a classic, timeless style statement. Whether it is yesteryears beauty Sharmila Tagore or Naagin Sri Devi or a beauty queen like Sushmita Sen, the sari complements all time periods, generations and style statements. You can wear a sari from your mom’s closet or a designer piece like SatyaPal - it is always feminine, timeless, elegant, traditional, innocent, classic and shexxy!

Unfortunately, I hate wearing saris. I love how they look on; a sari can hug the right curves, hide the wrong curves and with the perfect pleats and pallu add innocence and sensuality to a woman’s Tashaan. But, I hate wearing them.

(a) I don’t know how to tie a sari (I will admit that on one occasion I even you-tubed and googled the steps to tie a sari…it took me 2 hours!!! But the hostess dragged me to the bathroom because she needed help tying her sari and she wanted her pleats to resemble mine!!)

(b) I don’t know how to walk in sari – all that fabric inbetween my legs swooshing about…aaarrrggghhh!! I feel like I’m going to trip. The kick-step-kick-step is too much while trying to walk in stilettos in a sari holding a plate of samosas and trying to follow a conversation.

(c) I don’t know how to hold anything while trying to carry my pallu. No camera, no purse, no food, no drink. I can't imagine having a little one to take care of.

(d) I don’t know how to dance in a sari. Bhangra is not meant to be with the pleats flying about and the pallu all over the place. And, I have that fear of tripping in a sari (A Bollywood rain dance can only be done in a sari though).

(e) I don’t know how to pee in a sari!! Enough said.

This is why I only wear a salwaar kameez, chooridaar, or a lengha. They are so simple and less complicated. I know how to wear them, how to walk, can hold anything, can dance, can pee and feel fully clothed!

So, needless to say I was in a panic for my sister’s wedding. I didn’t want a sari and I knew the lengha that I wanted would come with a pricetag (I’ve been told I have expensive taste…I think it's because I recognize quality and Tashaan). So I ventured to Poshak in Houston, where Designer/Owner Sameera made the perfect lengha for me – simple, beautiful and a complete expression of my Tashaan! (The amazing part was she created the design for my blouse in less than five minutes after listening to what I wanted and needed! It was perfect!)

But, if I had known about this new sari/lengha combination I would have jumped on it!! And if you knew about it, shame on you for not sharing the secret!!! The lengha-sari is the perfect fusion of the sari and lengha in one outfit.

The lengha-sari is a sari without the pleats - it looks like a lengha with a pallu. Rather than the pleats at the front, the lengha sari is adorned with a variety of embellishments, patterns, paneling and colours. The pallu is draped just as you would a traditional sari. It’s ideal for me!! It has the ease of a lengha, with the timeless beauty of a sari. Here are some of my favorites online. (Somebody have a party so I can order one!!!!)




What do you think of the new lengha-sari? Would you wear one? Where? Post your thoughts (or pictures of you in your favorite a sari, lengha or sari-lengha) at desigirlhouston@gmail.com

Would You Convert for Love?

“A religious man is a person who holds God and man in one thought at one time, at all times, who suffers harm done to others, whose greatest passion is compassion, whose greatest strength is love and defiance of despair.” ~Unknown

I've been thinking about this question for quite some time. Yes, you are all assuming right. I'm interested in guy who is a different religion. While the whole thing is simple yet complicated, I couldn't help but ask myself, if I feel in love again, would I be willing to convert to be with him? And, no, I'm not in love with him. Attracted and enjoy his company better describes how I feel right now.

A simple Google search – you should know by now that I Google everything - on this question compiled a large number of websites and forums. Of all the sites I clicked on, the answer was “No, I would not convert for love.”

The reasons varied. One writer stated that asking to convert would be “a violation” of the basic principles of relationships: understanding and respect for each other. Another spoke about how it would hurt her family to marry outside of the faith, even though she admitted that neither her nor family were religious. Another woman said “if you are truely in love, then why should that person have to change anything at all.” And, a man wrote “i consider my religion to be a huge part of my identity, and I would never be able to give that up for someone.” One entry believed that it was a selfish request to ask another to convert?

Having dated, married, divorced and now dating again, I can honestly say that there is a possibility that I would convert for the right set of beliefs and the right man. There are some that would say that I am not a true believer if I am willing to leave Sikhism. To them, I would say, try carrying my heart around for a day.

For a relationship to survive, it requires the right ingredients; the perfect mix of chemistry, personality, sense of humor, attraction (physical, emotional, mental), beliefs and values, goals, family approval, religion, career/money, compatibility, respect, understanding and acceptance. Do you have any idea how difficult that is to find in a man?

It is not my lack of faith that tells me its okay to convert but because of my strong faith and belief in God that I think its okay to convert. Religion is a relationship between you and God, something that guides you, teaches you how to love God and people, helps you build morals and beliefs, differentiate between right and wrong. I believe that as long as you have the love and respect for God, as long as your world view and path are similar, what difference does it make what you call Him and in what religion’s name? (Now, I do agree with the Google entries that one should not convert only for their partner, but should do so out of respect and belief in the religion.)

Sikhism has taught me a lot and made me the person that I am today. For example, Sikhism has taught me that there is only one God, devotion, avoid the five vices (I'm able to avoid 4 of the 5) and embrace the eight virtues, about justice and equality, charity and donation, and daily devotion. To enjoy all that God has given to us – the ability to use reason, our loved ones, our homes and being able to jump in a puddle right after it rains (yup…did that over lunch today! It was so much fun…I encourage all of you to go out and jump in a puddle, make a big splash! Don’t worry…it’s only water and it will dry.)

One of my earliest conversations with my Dad was about the concept of one God. That each of us take different paths and call Him by a different name – Jesus, Ram, Allah - but each path, with its principles and belief, and each name ultimately takes us to God. The scriptures teach us “Blind or poor, He is support.” Isn’t this what all religions teach us? So, why the separation?

My life experiences and my divorce have taught me a lot. They have pushed me away from my faith and then back towards my faith. They have taught me how important love, respect and acceptance are in a relationship. My ex (oOoOoOo…first time using that phrase) and I were the same religions, spoke the same language, shared the same background, but it wasn’t enough to save the marriage. We had different worldviews, goals in life, expectations of the relationship and personalities. I was going left and he was going right. No amount of faith in God was going to save our marriage because we had lost the faith in each other and in the “us.” After feeling unloved and unappreciated for what feels like an eternity, for me love is very important in a relationship. Love is what binds the two people together.

Yet, I know couples of different races and religion who have faced, and continue to face, hurdles in their marriage and as they raise their children. Because of the love and respect they have for one another they are surviving. Actually, looking at them, I believe they are living, enjoying each day with one another and in love; I was the one trying to survive in my marriage.

When I think of converting one’s religion for love, I always think of my sweet, beautiful friend and her wonderful husband, let’s call them Saheli and Derek. After dating for quite some time, they decided to get married. Derek was honest that he wanted his children to share his faith. Saheli saw in him the husband that she wanted and the devoted father that she knew he would be and agreed. Now, she faced her challenges and lectures from both family and friends but she is happily married with two beautiful, intelligent little children. She has her daily struggles in being a wife and a mother, but her faith is strong. Derek and Saheli survived this hurdle because of their love, respect and acceptance of one another. She is still the same wonderful person I knew, only happier - living her life in love with her husband, her children and faith. Isn’t this what religion teaches us? What God wants for each of us?

I recognize – trust me I really, truly do recognize – that relationships are complicated regardless of religion. Making the decision to convert one’s religion is not something to be taken lightly. I believe it is absolutely vital that you have faith in God, but also see the value of your significant other’s religion and its basic tenets. Just as important is your faith in your potential partner. I don’t think converting just so I can have a boyfriend or husband is right. I’m looking for the right combination of love for my man and in his religion to make the plunge.

And, for the right man, I am willing to go pretty far for love.

Perhaps, I’m naïve or being overly romantic. But, at the end of the day, I just want to be with that one person that loves me, regardless of religion and race. I am a good, honest, imperfect person looking for love. Real, unconditional, insane, goofy love which is difficult to find and if I find it I don’t want anything to stand between us. And, I would assume if I have strong feelings for him than it is because of some common world view. So how can I not embrace his religion, isn’t it what made him who he is today? Is it not what made me fall in love with him?

(For the curious at heart...the man that I'm interested in, well...he's a wonderful man who wants to be with someone of the same religion. I hope he finds who he is looking for! Now, if he changes his mind about me...and if he doesn't, then....)

Your turn: would you convert for love? Comment here or email me at desigirlhouston@gmail.com.

Spend less, save more and still go shopping??

Most of you know that I like shopping...okay i live for shopping. For me shopping is more than just about buying things. It's a great way to relax, hang out, build relationships and support my girls. And, we get pretty things out of it as well :)

But, like so many others, with the state of the current economy and my divorce looming over my heads, I too am trying to find ways to spend less and save more. Now unfortunately, I can not lock myself in my apartment and never socialize again, so I created a budget and follow some simple tricks to spend less.



I've discovered a few things: I need to make more money, I hate budgeting and my tricks work...if I stick to them.

I found some easy, simple ways to pay off my credit cards and save a little money each month...Hey...I'm on my way to saving more. I strongly recommend Suze Orman's latest book entitled Suze Orman's 2009 Action Plan - Keeping Your Money Safe and Sound. It's a very easy read filled with amazing, ready-to-use tips from everything from credit cards to college funds to mortgages to shopping (yes, ladies...a whole chapter on shopping...a.k.a. spending).



I also found simple ways to save a little money with everyday things, like groceries and cell phone bills. Below are some great websites from Real Simple magazine that talks about these money saving tips. I hope you enjoy them and find them as helpful as I did.

http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/money/saving/how-to-save-on-00000000016999/index.html

http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/money/spending/money-missteps-that-matter-00000000006213/?xid=weeklynews

And, here's a link for an interesting article from Time.com about where I money is going during the recession. Some of these surprised me (i.e. soup purchases are down and organic food purchases are up) while others did not (i.e. movie ticket sales are up, as is contraceptive sales).

http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1911974_1911972,00.html

What are you doing to save a little money? Share your thoughts by posting here or email me at desigirlhouston@gmail.com.

The Hardest Things to Say

At home, sick in bed...damn strep throat...my delirious mind wandered. I remembered a MySpace account that I had started months ago. Below is an entry from that account (I've changed the wording a little, but the message is still the same...only speak from your heart). I stopped maintaining that account because I started this blog, but I think this entry is still relevant!

The three most difficult things to say are:

I love you!

I'm sorry!

I need your help.

Such easy and simple words that can be uttered in a moment. But, they are truely the hardest to say because they must be said from the heart and show your vulnerability. Uttering these words in a moment's notice, one fails to recognize their importance and then betray their meanings.

If you say "I'm sorry" and then follow it by not learning from your mistake or changing your ways, are you really sorry for the pain that has been caused? Or, are you just sorry for the present level of discomfort that you now feel? For getting caught for being selfish or doing something wrong? By saying "I'm sorry" simply because its the right thing to do, it is meaningless! Sometimes not apologizing takes as much courage as apologizing - defending your beliefs, your values, your actions is important too. A true apology is filled with empathy, consoling, and a desire to do/be better in the future.

If you say "I love you!" but then you ask for constant change, criticize, belittle, ashame, ignore and yell. Or, you are with that person because you think it's the right thing, for children, for parents, for society. That is not love. That is you being unfair to two people - yourself and the other person. Love is unapologetic, forgiving, accepting, calm, warm, comforting. Love is what brings the best out of you! If when you say "I love you!" doesn't make you smile or make the other person smile, it is not true love. And you both deserve better. Let them go so that both of you can find your true love.

If you say "I need help", it shows your courage to persevere! It shows you are a strong person who recognizes her weaknesses and despite them you want to overcome your challenges. And, when you make this request and it is followed by finger pointing, feelings of shame or regret, then realize that it is not you. But, rather it is the other person. They are not worthy of your honesty or friendship and they do not see you for the real person that you are.

Over the years, "I love you," "I'm sorry," and "I need help" have become some of the simplest phrases in my relationships. Whether they are whispered or shouted from the rooftop, whey speaking from the heart, there is honesty, love and trust in all of them! And, I hope when they are said to me, they are only said from the heart. Coming from any other place is only devaluing the relationship.

If they can not be said from the heart, then I wish they not be said to me at all!